Where is Home
When you’re the new folks in town, you end up getting a lot of the same questions.
Why did you move here? How long are you staying? What do you do for a living (or more directly, how are you affording to live here)? Have you figured out XYZ? Have you visited XYZ? And for those in a place with a new language; “Have you started learning/taking classes in (the language)?
We have a number of responsibilities still in the US so in moving here, we planned our first trip back to coincide with winter holidays (Thanksgiving in November, Christmastime in December) and a convention that we’re still running in January. It’s a long trip, around 2.5 months. It’ll be our first time back in the US after arriving here and setting up house.
“Are you looking forward to going back?”
It’s a simple question on the surface. Yes or no could answer it. But human beings are more complicated than that. I’m more complicated than that.
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I’m loving living here in the Netherlands. We have been in our new apartment just over two weeks now, and every day I’m happy to be here. Fun side note: It’s the first time I’ve lived without kids or roommates/parents since 1992. I did have a cat in ’92 though. 🙂 I’m enjoying having a space that’s just ours, especially in the kitchen. I seem comfortable sharing almost any space with others, but having our own kitchen is somehow a relief for me.
We ride our bicycles all over town here, and I’ll often choose bicycling over walking now. I can even get started without wobbling sometimes, and I’m out of breath much less often than I was when we started with the bikes in August.
Both of us on bikes, backpacks and fietstassen (bike bags) loaded up!
Backpack and fietstassen (bicycle bags) all loaded up with things as we move from one house to another.
I look forward to riding the bicycles, and I’m enjoying the various challenges we take on, like moving furniture and household goods without a car. I took a suitcase on the bus to move it from the house to the apartment, but everything else we did by bicycle. Luckily we didn’t have any furniture yet; that came from IKEA directly to the apartment.
I love visiting our Local Friendly Gaming Shop, which is about 5 minutes walk from our door. I’ve made friends, had people over, and cooked with regional vegetables. I even sang part of their happy birthday song one night at a game night. (“In de gloria, hip, hip, hip, hoera!”). I have started making bad puns using Dutch & English words now. I’m feeling more and more settled in.
The Dutch narrow, tall, winding staircases are still somewhat intimidating, but I’m getting more comfortable with ones I do regularly.
Looking up from the ground floor.
Around the corner, you’re almost there…
In our building, there are three marble steps to get in the front door, and then 42 steps up to our door, with a small landing on the way (where the handrail switches sides); the last 8 steps or so are so twisty that the handrail goes vertical! And yet, I’ve gotten used to these stairs in the last two weeks. I don’t hold the handrail with a death grip anymore, and will even walk up the stairs holding things in *both* hands now! Before I would switch things from one hand to the other so I could hold the handrail. (I still do that for going down the stairs.)
Here is a video of me walking up the stairs from the landing up to our door. It gets a little blurry at the end, but you get the idea.
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View of the Rockies from Denver.
Colorado, well, I’ve spent most of my life there. I’ve lived other places, but always feel like Colorado is my home. I love seeing the mountains. I have friends there, family there (and around the US), familiar and favorite places to eat and shop, and lots of memories.
I wonder what it’s going to be like going back after being “Dutchified” for three months.
People who move from their home country often talk about living in two worlds. My ex-husband is British, and spent time growing up in both the US and the UK. At times he was too American to be British, too British to be American. Will I feel that same way? Will I ever feel at home in the Netherlands, or always slightly an outsider? Will I feel at home in the US, or always see things from a new, disconnected perspective?
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When I lived in the UK from 1998 to 2000, I missed some foods, particularly Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Mexican food. There was a Mexican food section in the grocery that had something like six items, including one salsa option, a package of taco shells, a package of tortillas, and a jar of enchilada sauce. Hope you like tacos and enchiladas!
This time, I don’t know that I’m missing as much. I’d come to notice that the foods in the US are really full of preservatives and fillers and lots of sugar, so I’m eating a lot more fresh food here, even if it does come in a bag (instead of a can) or has to be eaten sooner so it doesn’t spoil.
A going-away dinner with friends at our favorite Pho place, Pho 95.
So far, I think NL is winning on the food front. I do miss my favorite Pho place in Littleton though.
I have a lot to do on this first trip back. My first week in November will be spent seeing friends, eating at Pho 95, and recovering from jet lag. Billy will be on a work trip. The second and third weeks we will be out of town, and the fourth week we’ll be visiting family (and going to a funeral service). We get back to Colorado at the end of November, and then work really kicks in.
We have a convention in January (that we’re running) and one in March (that we’re managing a lot of the behind the scenes), so December for me is full-on working on those two.
The detritus of a lifetime.
Plus over my lifetime I’ve accumulated a lot of stuff, random items, papers, and mementos, and I plan to go through them in December and January and try to reduce that volume significantly. There are also things that I would like to have in the Netherlands, so I’ll also be gathering things and deciding what will come with us on this trip, what can wait for another trip, and what do we maybe not need to bring at all.
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Maybe it’s the rose colored glasses, honeymoon phase I’m in, but there’s a bit about the US that I don’t miss right now. Most of it is related to politics or culture, and we don’t need to get into the details. It does leave me with mixed feelings; on the one hand feeling like I gave up and ran away, and on the other hand feeling like I moved on into the next phase of my life.
On the daily life front, do I miss the giant bags of potato chips, the large containers of ice cream, and the bigger fridges? Not really. The weather here has been lovely, so I’m not missing the Colorado sun as we’re getting plenty here at the moment. I do miss knowing where to buy things when I need them, like a winter coat or new shoes, but I’m learning those things here.
I miss knowing what all the buttons on the oven mean. Sometimes I miss the convenience of going door-to-door with a car, although that wouldn’t be solved here by owning a car. Parking here favors the pedestrian and bicyclist over the car; the only place I’ve seen ample parking near the destination is at the IKEA.
“Are you looking forward to going back?”
I’m curious to see what nostalgia I have when we’re back, what there might be that I like more in the US than I noticed while we’ve been gone. I expect it will feel a bit like putting on one of those old sweaters that is comfy and cozy; everything will be familiar, and maybe that will be nice. So yes, I’m partially looking forward to going back; I’m curious to see what has changed in me; I’m looking forward to seeing the people that I miss, seeing the mountains, and eating at some of my favorite places.
And then I’m looking forward to getting back to the Netherlands and continuing this journey that we’ve started.
